==================================================== Everything About Santa (real!!) ==================================================== Hello. Do you believe in money? In this following unfinished document, numerous questions will be asked, and I try to give a reliable answer to them. All of this is made up. Stuff written here may not necessarily reflect my own opinions. Possible trigger warning. (In this document, "probably" means "definitely".) ------ How Do You Get A Present From Santa? -------- As everyone knows, you have to write a letter to Santa. Here is a list of things you must write on it: -"Dear Santa," -Your wish* -Sincerely, your name *Not all wishes may be granted. It is illegal for Santa to kill as part as a wish. In order for a wish to be granted, the family must have enough money. Santa cannot come to poor families because they're unable to pay for the wishes. It's like ordering a PS5 on Ebay. Put money in the letter envelope. If your wish is available on Amazon for $599.99, put that amount. Santa Claus has multiple accounts, including PayPal. This allows him to buy stuff easily. So don't worry about which site your wish is on; it can always be granted!! If you do not know how to send a letter to Santa, let your parents help you. Put the letter in the mailbox or something afterwards. Santa must know your address and preferably your true name in order for him to be able to grant your wish. It is known that Santa lives in the North Pole. Your letter will simply be deposited in the middle of nowhere. They're probably collected by elves. ---------------- Was I Naughty Or Not? ----------- Santa watches you 24/7. Well, his elves do that, actually. With the help of his elves (and your letter), he knows your address, social security number and even your search history. If you were nice, your wish will be granted. If you were naughty, you won't get coal; the money will simply get lost in the mail. Or Santa uses it for his fire. - What If I Wish To Be Together With My Family Again? - Santa cannot grant wishes that do not exist physically. But, Santa always tries his best. Go, Santa!! -------- But PayPal Didn't Exist Back Then! ------ Things were different back in the 19th century. There was no internet. With the rise of "Twas The Night Before Christmas", Santa gained popularity. This section describes how little changed. The process is, you write a typical letter to Santa (see above, include money) and send it in the mail. The biggest difference is lack of internet. You could wish for food and such. Special wishes, like "I wanna see my dad", have been an interesting topic since the beginning. Not all Santas volunteered to try to fulfill these kinds of wishes back in the day. Those might've just given the child a load of coal instead. Or gas. This changed in the 20th century due to (insert incident here). The inner workings of a letter to Santa have changed little. This goes to show that the Christmas tradition is a flawless one. ----------------- Wishing for a Gun ----------------- Santa killing you on Christmas is illegal. What is also illegal nowadays, is wishing for a weapon. Back in the day, many kids wished for swords. It ended up in children slaughtering eachother. As a result, the bosses behind Santa forbade Santa to give weapons to children early on in the history of Christmas. All Santas followed suite. It's been a long time since a kid was killed thanks to Santa! Send all your prayers to Santa for this. -------------- Santa Over The Years --------------- The very first Santa came to be in the 3. Century. Born in the year 270, Saint Nicholas of Myra would become a patron saint. He would secretly give gifts to poor children. Due to his secret activities, he ended up being loved by many. These days, Saint Nicholas is remembered fondly by the Santas. Though not being able to give gifts around the world, he was gracious enough to not want any money. Due to financial reasons, more recent Santas can't do the same. Most of them have been pretty greedy. All that greed culminated into one big (insert tragic incident here), not a very good event.